Check out a video I produced and wrote with my friend, star of Being Human*, Meaghan Rath.

*All good friendships should follow said friends’ TV credits

If you aren’t already following me on Twitter it means you haven’t already began to enjoy the beauty of a Sab-tweet. It’s a wonderful thing…if you don’t believe me, ask Jezebel. I was on today’s Tweet Beat

My dearest Jalees-lovers (also likers), welcome to the last year in the Mayan Calendar! As the end (potentially) approaches, I’ve done us all a favor and recapped how Joan Of Arc lived, conquered and died in 30 seconds (the recap, not her life span). Enjoy!

“…Occupy the women’s restroom at nightclubs. Here’s the thing, ladies: You stand in the line outside the club dressed to the nines, give or take a few numbers. Once you’re inside, the game is batting your eyelashes and giving off the impression that you could be, at any moment, getting a text from the Prince of Dubai (or for the less confident, Wilmer Valderrama). Which is why it’s shocking that crossing the restroom’s threshold causes you to become whatever thing humans were before monkeys. Beasts!…” CLICK TO READ COLUMN

“Canadian comedy star and television personality Sabrina Jalees, kept the audience entertained with hilarious in-character stand-up sketches…” -New York Times

I smell an addition to my bio…

Click on the quote to read the full review. Click on THIS to check out my character reel. And finally, click HERE to waste hours upon hours of your time being bipolar-style teased by pictures of delicious cookies, followed by hot bodies and anorexic mantras (“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”…But nothing feels as good as cheesecake tastes, Kate Moss.)

So you’ve been watching In Real Life on YTV Monday’s at 7pm. You love the show but you can’t help but think, “Man, i could do all this stuff! I could beat all those challengers! I am the best person ever created in the history of time*!”

First of all, take it easy. There’s a blurry line between confidence and cockiness and although i fully support your belief in self- there’s no denying that Willow Smith is the BPECHT*.

Second of all, put your web-browser where your inner-thoughts are! Play Race To The Finish at www.inreallife.ytv.com for a chance to face off against your favourite challenger in an In Real Life webisode!

Our site has been polished, plus-sized and pimped this season. Race to the Finish also has a mobile app (what?!) so you can earn points on the go. Play hard, play safe and play well, my friends…I just may be seeing you soon.

I know what you’re thinking: “What’s the best way to keep up with Sab in a passive, yet involved, day-to-day way?” LIKE her new Facebook Page! Click on any part of this sentence to get magically redirected to the promise land that will allow your Sab-affinity to begin! (new videos/ old embarassing videos/ too personal pictures/ scanned chunks of her hair…everything you need)

The journey starts all over again…and it’s “bigger, faster and mmm, mmm tastier”…I’m not sure what i was chewing on when i recorded the v/o for “mmm, mmm” but i’m gonna need to work on my food-sound-effect abilities.

Check out the preview:

And don’t forget to tune in to YTV on October 3rd at 7pm to watch the season premier!

Check me out LIVE at the Flying Beaver Pubaret! Get your tickets for the September 30th or October 1st show online to save dollar, dollar bills yo*.

*Sabrina may or may not be performing hip hop

Dear you. You know what you need? You need to watch me rip Big Time Rush and Snoop Dog a new one…and I got what you need: